


i won't live, won't live like them, and everyone, they're all seeing red

by proserpinasacra



Series: something tragic about this, something so magic about this [1]
Category: Hellblazer & Related Fandoms, Justice League Dark (Comics), Zatanna (Comics)
Genre: Bickering, Demons, F/M, Gen, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, justice league dark team dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 03:13:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13673082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/proserpinasacra/pseuds/proserpinasacra
Summary: "And, excuse you, I remember New Orleans perfectly fine."A lecherous smile spread across John's face, and he withdrew the Silk Cut to lick at his bottom lip. Her focus was drawn to the motion, then obstinately went back to looking into his eyes. "All of it, Zee?"She rolled her eyes. Then crossed her arms. And blew a stray hair out of her face. Zatanna Zatara never let herself be the type to blush, but she shifted slightly from one foot to the other. "Yes." She said finally, emphatically, "Especially the headache, that one hurt almost as bad as that time in Brixton, seriously. The rest… was just like in Des Moines. Nothing mindblowing. Don't flatter yourself."(john and zatanna reminisce and the justice league dark bickers)





	i won't live, won't live like them, and everyone, they're all seeing red

**Author's Note:**

> alternative titles: "noodle incidents" or "john & zee are that one couple that's annoying to be around because they ignore everyone else" or "the jld can very occasionally get their shit together"

Pacing around in this fiery barren wasteland didn’t much help their circumstance, but as Zatanna listened more and more to John’s ridiculous plan, she knew that it wouldn’t fix things either. Still, it wasn’t until he began detailing a particularly complex ritual that she stopped and shook her head.

"No. We don’t have time for that, and we can’t spare any from the sealing ritual we already have to do.”

“So we combine ‘em. Easy as that, luv, two birds with one stone.”

She looked at him incredulously. “If we do that- if we do that and can’t control it, we end up worse off than that time in New Orleans, John."

"New Orleans, Zee? And how much of New Orleans do you actually remember? From where I'm standing, this has more chance of ending up like Ibiza."

"Ibiza was a mess." John shrugged, nonchalantly taking a drag from his cigarette. Zatanna's brow furrowed, and she looked at him searchingly. "You think this could go as bad as Ibiza?" Another beat of consideration, "And, excuse you, I remember New Orleans perfectly fine."

A lecherous smile spread across John's face, and he withdrew the Silk Cut to lick at his bottom lip. Her focus was drawn to the motion, then obstinately went back to looking into his eyes. "All of it, Zee?"

She rolled her eyes. Then crossed her arms. And blew a stray hair out of her face. Zatanna Zatara never let herself be the type to blush, but she shifted slightly from one foot to the other. "Yes." She said finally, emphatically, "Especially the headache, that one hurt almost as bad as that time in Brixton, seriously. The rest… was just like in Des Moines. Nothing mindblowing. Don't flatter yourself."

"More Mongolia, than anything else, don't you think?"

She didn't even have anything snarky to say to that. Mongolia had been mostly nice. To say the least. "Mongolia was a bit chilly."

A statement which, of course, invited for John's expression to somehow become even more suggestive. Her own fault, really, that had been a perfect opening. If she didn't have the foresight to see so in the moment, maybe this really was turning out to be like Ibiza. "We took care of that real quick, now didn't we, luv?"

"Only after I healed half the bones in your body."

"You can't say I didn't thank you extensively, Zee."

Rather than reply, Zatanna rolled her eyes again and shook some demonic ichor off her boot. "Right, well I'm going to look for a way out of here so I can take a bath and try to forget I was ever covered in this much blood. _Naelc em ffo_."

And the gore disappeared. John frowned. “Wot, none for me?”

“Magical cleanings are for those that deserve it, John.”

“I’d say I ‘ave been nothing but pleasant this entire trip.”

“And you’re a liar. Either way, I doubt that’s the last of it. I’ll probably be covered in goop all over again by the end of the night.”

“Ya say that, and it could be sexy, but it’s really not.”

“Oh boo-hoo. Surprisingly enough, I’m not putting all my effort into seducing you right now.”

“You’re you and I’m me, luv, you know you really don’t need ta try that hard at it.”

“Should I interpret that as you admitting you’re easy or a compliment that I’m just that irresistible?”

Or the nebulous third option where this was his way of yet again casually admitting he’d do anything for her. His light blue eyes softened from their usual bluster and sharpness when they met hers.

“I think you know, darling.”

She cracked a small smile. “Maybe if you behave, and we make it out of here alive, we can clean off like we did that time in Athens."

“Is that a promise? ’Cos I’d love to see if-“

Finally willing to cut off this nonsense, Boston floated over from where he'd been scanning the horizon.

"Guys? The big one's coming back.”

In an eerily synchronized motion that made Boston flinch, both John and Zatanna turned towards him, then towards the horizon he’d just reported on.

“Tha’s not good.” John noted.

“Nope.” Zatanna frowned.

“How about you say we scrap the plan and solve this like we did the vampire den in Italy?”

She scrunched up her nose. “The one in Milan? Why don’t we pull a Tulsa instead and-“

“You two are aware that this thing you love to do so often is excruciatingly rude, yes?” Jason commented dryly from his position to the right of and slightly behind John. He looked as bored as Zatanna imagined he probably had been for the last several minutes of this ongoing conversation. Admittedly, she had… mostly forgotten his presence.

“I, uh, figured I’d cut things off with the warning before we saw if they could keep it going.” Jason gave Boston the most approving look he possibly ever had. It came out as only slightly kinder than his usual sneer.

“I do wish I could say they were nearing the end, but I have unfortunately witnessed them carry on for far longer than this in the past. One would have imagined their falling out would put a damper on these sorts of discussions, but they do appear to have picked up right where they left off. Whether that’s an ill omen for the future of the supernatural world is yet to be seen. They are so very volatile together.”

“I’d much more appreciate your larger, uglier friend right now, mate.” John shot back, giving a quick glance towards Zatanna’s offput expression.

“It’s none of your business what we’ve picked up on.” She said finally.

“Yeah, but that don’t mean the whole magical community hasn’t picked up on what you’ve picked up on. Loudly.” Chimed Boston. If he weren’t incorporeal, Zatanna might have thrown something at him.

“I must say, the back hallway of the Oblivion bar wasn’t the wisest choice for a tryst if you were attempting to keep it a secret.”

“Yowza, not subtle at all guys, not subtle at all. You’d think the two of you’d conjure up a better place before getting down and dirty. Unless you’re into the whole thing about screwing where people can find-“

“ _Tuhs pu, notsoB_.” Zatanna snapped, shooting him a sharp look. He was instantly cut off, and his mouth kept moving for a few seconds before he realized nothing audible was coming out. John whistled low, looking infinitely more amused than he had moments ago.

“Normally I would commend this action of yours, Zatanna, but I do have to admit I was interested in where he was leading to. And what your answer might have been.”

“Jason.” She warned lowly, at the same time John said, “She’d do it to you too, mate, I’d be careful.”

Boston floated closer to the group, waving his arms wildly with an irate expression on his face.

Jason chose to acknowledge John rather than her, which really didn’t help his standing in her eyes. “You would be careful? You don’t seem to even know the definition of careful, let alone choose to practice it around Miss Zatara. Perhaps if you had, the two of you would never have parted ways in the first place and her dear father would still-“

Zatanna darted forward just in time to grab John’s arm to stop him from socking Jason in the jaw. He looked deathly angry, and she put herself between the two, her own expression towards Jason none too kind itself. “Over the line, Blood.” She hissed. “We do not have time for this. Look, if you’re bitter we dragged you into this, don’t be, because you know Xanadu would have guilted you into it anyway. And Boston, if you’re pissed and jealous because you’re not getting any, I really can’t help you there, so just cooperate.”

“Neither of those excuse the behavior of you two lovebirds this fine evening.”

“Not like you’re such fine company yourself, Jace.” John retorted from behind her, gone deathly still.

“And we’re not picking any actual fights… the- bickering is different, you know that.” Zatanna crossed her arms. “How about we put a cap on it all for once, and think of an actual plan, okay?”

Jason’s eyes fixed on a spot behind her and John, and Zatanna almost told him off before realizing his expression had gone far too serious. Before she could turn to look, Jason rushed forward and skirted around them to stand back to back with John, while muttering the incantation to summon Etrigan in his place- all in time to shield them from a spray of hellfire. John immediately pulled her close to him, wrapped inside the coat, and the fire blazed past either side of them, deflected by Etrigan’s demonic hide. Zatanna squeezed her eyes shut against the searing light and heat, grateful for the tan fabric that kept her bare arms from being singed. The big one was, indeed, back.

The blaze died down and Zatanna immediately burst from John’s grip to whirl around and get a glimpse of Etrigan wrestling with the towering form of the demon. They skirted back a few steps- hands finding each other’s instinctively and tugging and pulling as they both reached a safer distance. Zatanna turned towards where Boston floated beside them.

“Brand, you’re supposed to be on watch!”

He flailed his arms around and opened and closed his mouth, no sound coming out. Right.

“ _Uoy nac klat niaga_.” Zee relented, and Boston wasted no time before launching back into it.

“I told ya! Did ya wanna listen? No, no one wants to listen to the ghost, even when he’s gotta good point. Ya know, Ram- “

“- Shut up, Boston!” John and Zatanna chimed in time, both fixing a glare at him before refocusing on the demon. It loomed over even Etrigan, and though he was putting up a good fight, all the horns and strength on the thing proved an overwhelming opponent.

“Like in Babylon?” Zatanna optioned, tilting her head but not turning her eyes away from the horrific sight.

“Yeah, sounds good, luv.” With a last squeeze, he released her hand to dig through his coat, and she took a deep breath and began to pull more and more magic into herself to prepare to power the ritual.

“Boston? Can you get inside that thing while Etrigan’s got it distracted? We’re going to draw the runes around it- we’ll need a minute.”

They make eye contact for a fleeting second, and there’s understanding there, and the camaraderie they never seemed to land in the less chaotic moments. Boston nodded, and Zatanna released a relieved breath.

“On it.”

**Author's Note:**

> come chat with me on tumblr at proserpinasacra.tumblr.com !


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